Saturday, March 25, 2006

When geese attack

The institute that I work at is very park-like. We have a pretty lake in the middle with a path around it. I like to walk it sometimes when I'm waiting for an experiment to finish. As a result, we also have tons of geese running around. I've heard stories of people getting attacked by geese when they're on the path, but I've never had a problem. That is, until yesterday, when I came head-to-head with ATTACK GEESE.

See? I took this picture over the weekend at the pretty lake. Look at how that goose is coming to kill me.

So, I was walking into work in the morning, drinking my tea (which I now inexplicably take with milk and sugar. Those Brits got to me!!), minding my own business. I was approaching the building when I saw a car coming up on my right, and to my left I heard some geese going nuts. They like to yell at each other sometimes, so this didn't really faze me. Actually, the day before as I was walking in, I watched a goose chase after three guys drving around in a John Deere tractor. That was pretty funny. The goose was full-on angry, and the guys were just moseying along in their little tractor, totally not caring.

I'm getting off track here. Okay. Minding my own business. Drinking tea. Car on right, geese going nuts on left. As I'm crossing the little parking lot entrance, I hear the geese coming closer, and fortunately I looked to my left because THREE GEESE WERE FLYING STRAIGHT TOWARDS MY HEAD. Holy crap! Here's an intricate diagram that I just constructed for you:

In the split second after I noticed this, I thought to myself "Surely those geese are going to change course so as not to kill me." But as they came closer, it was clear that they were not. Holy crap again. So I ducked!! And shrieked loudly, I have to say. They flew right over me, I swear they were less than a foot away from my head. Oh my god. After they flew past, the car that had been coming from the right pulled up next to me, and the guy rolled down his window to say "Holy cow! I thought they were going to hit you!" Me too, buddy!

Seriously, if one had hit me? It would have broken its neck and totally died. Died from hitting me. Thank god I don't have to be the 'Girl Who Killed a Goose with her Head".

I hear that when the geese have nests (which they will soon!) they get extra testy, so I'm looking forward to THAT. Because clearly, they are out to get me.


Heidi Ellis said...

I'm so sorry, but that story made me laugh out loud. I LOVE the diagram.

Karl Broman said...

The geese had probably read your blog and so knew that you'd been supporting Duke.

I also love the diagram. How did you make it?

patientgrl said...

OMG, that was hilarious. I'm trying not to cry it was so funny. oh, and I put milk and sugar in my tea too.

Lisa said...

powerpoint, baybee!! nothing but the best for you people.

also, shut up Karl :P As the geese were flying past, I totally heard them squawking 'Go Blue Devils'!

Rafa said...

yeah. shutup karl.

one of the first things my father taught me was to stay away from geese. they are evil. im a 100% greenpeace tree hugging liberal but i would not mind if they became extinct. and keep in mind my list of "animals i wish became extinct" is short: mosquitos, squirrels, geese, sharks and bears.

ps- its brians fault im posting here. blame him.