Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Lisa vs. The Insect World

This week, the insect world has been conspiring to make my life miserable (actually, this has been a long-term offensive action on their part). It all began last Friday when a big, scary, black wasp somehow ended up in our lab. Like I can work when there's a big, scary, black wasp flying around the room. My boss came in and killed it, thank god. That afternoon, my boss and I went out to Duke to meet with our collaborator (i.e. Brian), as I'm now writing up the results of these experiments. Afterwards we were all going to go out for dinner, but someone had to go let the dog out, so I went home and did this while my boss and Brian discussed early career sorts of stuff. On my way back to meet them, I was sitting at a traffic light with the windows open, and I saw another big, scary, black wasp flying around my side mirror. I frantically started putting the window up, but the wasp flew away, over the front of the car and... into the other window. Holy crap. Of course, at this moment the light changed. Of course, also, I was screaming like the little girl that I am. I'm sure the guy in the car next to me thought I was insane. I couldn't see the wasp anywhere, but I had to pull over and completely inspect the inside of the car before I could proceed.
On Sunday, Brian and I went to Home Depot, and A BEE flew into the car. Brian removed it though. At least it wasn't a big, scary, black wasp. I was beginning to think they, as a species, had a vendetta against me personally. On Monday, however, I came into the lab and ANOTHER BIG, SCARY, BLACK WASP was flying around. The hell? Where are these suckers coming from? Only another female postdoc and I were in the lab. She's not as big of a baby as I am about bugs, so she was willing to at least get close enough to it to try to kill it - with a spray bottle of 70% ethanol. She sprayed it a bunch of times and it fell down and was sort of incapacitated, but we were not sure what to do with it. My boss came in and saved the day (again) by stepping on it. Phew.
Last night we were going to bed and I happened to be staring at the ceiling, where I saw some sort of insect. I couldn't figure out what it was, but I was guessing a spider. I mentioned this to Brian, but he insisted it would stay up there and be okay. So I started to drift off. Brian was still reading, so he had his bedside light on. A few minutes later I looked up and the thing was on the wall right over my head. This would not do. I made Brian remove it, but he will not kill anything, so he had to go get a piece of paper to scoop it up with, so he could rescue it. I hate this policy, because it just leads to the sorts of things like what happened next. As he scooped up the spider, it jumped/was dropped. Right over our bed that I have to sleep in. We couldn't find it. So now, instead of having a spider that I can at least see, we have a spider that may or may not be in our bed. Brian used the power of positive thinking to decide that it was in one of the sconces we have over the bed. I thought that was a load of crap, just to get me to go to sleep. It wasn't working. So, Brian shook out each of the sheets and blankets on the bed individually, to convince me that it wasn't in the bed. Still, it might have been over my head, waiting to jump out and walk on me or something. I said to Brian, "What happens if it comes down here in the middle of the night and walks on me?" He answered "You might eat it." That didn't help. The 4th of July is our 8 year anniversary of our first date, and in the time since, Brian and I have learned how to deal with each other in order to achieve maximum relationship calmness (this is often difficult when you are married to me, as I am inherently not calm). The bug thing is one area where clearly, we still haven't got it.


Adrienne said...

All you need is a dog like mine that likes to EAT black scary wasps. Ew.

Nathan said...

So I was gonna suggest that if you have a problem with large numbers of these then you probably just need more of these around your house. But, you obvisouly have a spider issue as well so I'll just leave you with this little nugget of wonder from the Internet:

"The average person eats 8 spiders while sleeping, in a lifetime!"

Cheers. :)

Annie said...

Here I am, way late on this one, but I have to add palmetto bugs to the list of horrific houseguests. "Palmetto bug," indeed. It's a roach, and it has come into my house more than once, and brought its siblings, and I am SO GROSSED OUT. Yaay south!